This is definitely the longest I've gone in my lifetime since I had my first drunk at age 17...I'm 46 and had my first sober birthday as an adult in May. I'm thrilled at the accomplishment, but it has not been easy. Details of the daily seem boorish unless someone is into reading books...lists of the accomplishments from the start until now seem amazing, which honestly do no justice to the amount of idle time I've had. I learned I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY...whether wasted or not.
I quit drinking to successfully quit smoking, but I also quit drinking as a means to remove a potential reason why I'm stuck. Covid19 may be having a sincerely awful effect on my happiness...or it could be many other things...but I'm certain that nicotine and alcohol are not exacerbating an already tough time. BTW, I live in Arizona, the current epicenter of a global pandemic.
I've come here daily and on FB groups and commented maybe a thousand times since starting this sober journey last year on July 22, 2019. I relapsed in October on day 97ish...i restarted multiple times but it stuck with a January 22, 2020 QUIT. Being honest keeps me sober...so does avoiding drinkers, getting up at 5 am every day, eating healthily, trying to have hobbies, biking or hiking, and retelling words of advice for customized responses for many seeking assistance on challenges with ending these addictions.
The only answer is to recognize that I am at my best sober, I am less likely to crash sober, I am going to be happier in the long run sober, those around me appreciate my sobriety (even if those are only countable on one hand), and that I'm more likely to solve outstanding issues if I'm sober. Hug...BIG VIRTUAL HUG...thank you for your instigation and opportunities to be present. Any day could be the start of a great new Path...because I've finally gained enough coherence to actually be successful without jeopardizing it with alcoholism. Sobriety is about being vigilant and resilient and optimistic and transparent and honest...your best will be apparent, even if you are struggling and self-effacing sometimes.
Oh, this morning I planted 30ish clumps of Purslane in my little garden...purslane is a native succulent and considered a weed in Arizona, but it grows well with water and is delicious as the leafy base or element in a salad. I've created an ideal microclimate for it among a variety of hot peppers...i did that instead of answering Reddit posts...and now I feel accomplished.
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