In my own journal, every day, I calculate my statistics. Let's see...27,700 calories not imbibed, 157 beers not paid for, $750 bucks, an average of 6 brisk walking miles per day, newfound ambition, healthy meals, spent $450 on new REI gear, inspiring friends, making mom happy, 120 over 78 BP, lost 10 pounds, the list is long.
45 years old, all my stitches etc after the age of 18 were from alcohol-related accidents, years of binge drinking, years of consistent daily drinking, over $200,000 lifetime alcohol expenditures, one DUI, foreclosure and bankruptcy, lost lovers, unmarried, shitty job currently, stunted emotional growth, the costs are enormous.
I quit smoking as well. I didn't have a particularly profound experience or an epiphany...I knew the investment that needed to be made from earlier quits. I am investing in my self, talking about it openly, keeping a daily journal (albeit, it is a fairly boring account of statistics punctuated by an occasional serious entry), the future is unfolding into a true happiness that has no historical context.
Whew, it feels great to start a new Path...my success would not be possible without a past, and the transformative process is simply wonderful.
Keep trying and it will stick as a new pathway. I'm just embarking and speaking as if I have answers, which truthfully is just a reflection of consistently trying. Sober me is the best me...and of course I could wish I saw me like I am today over 20 years ago instead of the giant gaps over the last 20 years. As a therapist wisely told me, it doesn't matter so much of when you "get IT" as much as that you get it now.
Yeah, all big changes have the "regret" of not doing it sooner. However, let this sink in...It Doesn't Matter When As Much As It Matters That You Did.
I put forward the trifecta on the same quit date....alcohol, cigarettes, and abusive relationship all quit at the same time. My next big change is a new job....coming soon :)
[this was stated before I relapsed, and I did the Quit again...the moral of the story is to keep trying until it takes]
Comentarios