Dear friend...
we are not all funny quips and insight. Our power comes from telling others the rough parts. I'm not a fan of AA due to its reliance on a higher power and the lack of variety with the stories. I'm sure you relate with some people's recounts of their bad day(s)...you too will inspire others and simultaneously heal. I offer this as advice from someone who is healing with strategy.
I had many Quits over 5 to 7 years...but I had one big QUIT. I stopped after a big night of drinking and smoking...the night included sending a viscous email to the woman I had been in an on/off relationship for 5 years... she hurts me by ignoring me for days or weeks at a time. So, it wasn't a really good way from some perspectives...i relapsed 97 days later with the same woman ignoring me after rekindling a relationship and thereby triggering my self-loathing. I'm currently over 180 days again and the trigger was present again recently...same tactics, same triggers, different outcome...she's been thwarted.
Tapering down is good...a plan is best! Smiles...look, I wanted to know sober me. Sober me is different than the man present for the last 25 years...i had a lot of fun but also a lot of disaster. Tomorrow i take a long bike ride with my mom's second husband, who is really athletic on his 70s...i want to have the same life of living instead of recovering all the time. Join r/stopdrinking and r/stopsmoking and r/sober and r/quittingsmoking. These are good places that you'll find stories you can relate to.
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