"Some people turn the urge...some grow out of it slowly....some quit for someone other than themselves...some get health scares...some hit rock bottom...some are like me...and some are like you...together now in our sobriety...we are stronger than we ever were."
Why did I quit?
I can remember my life accurately, because I've kept journals since my 20s....however, most often only getting attention when I'm sad....but they still serve as a testament to my moments. I find it sad that I loved someone so much and she and I were so hopeless together and separately. I came to understand that my last relationship was a metaphor for my relationship with alcohol...dependent, unfulfilling, empty, sad, addictive, dangerous, incomprehensible to anyone I tried to explain it, and many more syllogisms.
The advice I give to anyone younger than me, get your shit together now and forgo years of hard drinking like I did and you'll avoid a host of issues, be ready for love, save money, get better jobs, fuck better, and see the world....or you can have the risks of alcohol and break bones, get stitches, lose jobs, lose friends, forget a lot of life, and potentially die or kill someone or both.
smile, I had my fun...I had my laughs...I had my excitement...I am surprised that it did not go terribly wrong sometimes, but in truth, it did go terribly wrong sometimes and the consequences are my own to heal.
Once you are on day 4...the fighting response becomes..."I never, ever want to spend any more life doing that again!"
Then day 30 rolls to day 31 and you post here about "being able to do it, because I did".
I relapsed day 100 last year due to a painful relationship outcome...i worked myself back to 50% of those days...I'm really, really, really done now!
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